The Deliberation

Thursday morning we heard the rest of the evidence. Then we were dismissed to lunch and were told to be back in the deliberation room by 1:30. We still were not allowed to talk to each other about the case, so we sat in a room together trying to entertain ourselves and avoid talking about what was on all our minds, until the judge called us back into the courtroom at about 3:30. For two hours we had to wait like this. By that time everyone just wanted to go home. But we had heard all the evidence and there was still some time left, so we heard the concluding arguments of the defence and prosecution. Then we were shut back into the room until we could agree upon a verdict. No more than two hours later did we find the defendant guilty of all charges: two charges of first degree assault with a weapon, one of the charges being domestic. Going back into the courtroom was overwhelming, knowing that everyone was just waiting for us and the whole time had just been trying to predict what we would decide. I just looked down at my lap while the verdict was read and tried not to cry. I sneaked a peek at the defendant's face after the verdict was read, but it remained unchanged. However, it won't be a face I will soon forget. I was so sure when I voted that he was guilty, but afterwards I couldn't help wondering if we were putting an innocent man away for a long time. The whole experience was very trying and seemed very foreign. It took me awhile to recover, and all the details and people involved in the case keep popping back into my head. My only comfort is knowing that God is the decider of all "fates," not men.